What to do with Bum Watermelons

What's with watermelons this year? Every time I excitedly slice into a new green melon ball I am immediately disappointed with the dull color, the low sweetness and mealy texture.

 


It's a sad way to end my happy song of "My Own Personal Watermelon" sung to the tune of Depeche Mode's Personal Jesus but in Johnny Cash's version. Only Jesus instead of Watermelon.

Some fruit to hear your prayers,
some fruit that's not pears.

Anyway, if you are bogged down by the same sad fruity affliction, I have some ideas.

First, watermelon salsa! Full credit goes to Cooking Light for this great sweet-spicy-fresh recipe, that tastes awesome on steak tacos and revives dull melons ASAP. I changed the amounts a little because "2 cups of watermelon" is a stupid method of measurement.

Watermelon Salsa in Normal-Person Measurements
-Half a small (of your own... "personal"...) watermelon (see, much better)
-2 sprigs of fresh mint, chopped
-enough lime juice to coat the top
-same amount of olive oil
-1 chopped serrano chile 

If you think adding a spicy pepper to a watermelon is a good way to ruin it, I can understand that. If you're married to the idea of keeping it sweet, why not pulverize it with a little honey? I think watermelon smoothies are a little risky -- especially since we're already dealing with bum watermelons -- but I messed around with the measurements and ingredients and found one that's acceptable.

Watermelon Smoothie
-The other half of your own personal watermelon
-Tablespoon of honey
-The ice from about half an ice tray 
-Splash of lime juice
-Handful of hulled strawberries

Drink it fast, because it separates quick.


At least the cherries are good this summer.