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Friday, March 25, 2016

Unexpected Words of Encouragement

I don't really know how to say this without sounding corny. But it really is amazing when the words you need the most pop up to you in the least expected ways.

Let me explain. The past few months have been pretty quite a whirlwind. I felt more and more every day that the full time job I held was not only unfulfilling but entirely wrong for me. The pressure built until, almost on its own free will, my feet marched me into my boss' office' and I quit. I quit for a serving/bartending position at a bar. This did not go over well.

It's been two weeks now since my tearful last day of cupcakes in the office and -- the very next day -- my first day at the sports bar.

Overall the change has been positive. But it seems like I'm going through a trial with the other girls at the bar. I'm hoping this is just a short-lived hazing period, but there are times that getting singled out just feels permanent.

A few days ago I came home exhausted. My feet and back hurt. My spirit had taken a beating. I checked the mailbox and saw I had an envelope from my old employer's address. My heart sank a little. This cannot be good.

Inside the envelope was a copy of my last pay stub. And then something else. A typed letter from an old coworker that I hadn't expected to hear from.

...from the east
... from the west
... which is least
... which is best! 
There are so many appreciable things about both and here are some, from this place you now call home, that I love the best.

I love the space that surrounds me. You will too after your discovery of --

Movement -- Everything is in motion here. The land moves and changes. The zephyrs that blow across the landscape moving dirt, seeds, leaves, tree branches and sound.

I sit down as I read. I was not expecting anything like this.

Stillness-- In this stillness, I find the depth of me -- there is so much to explore about ourselves. I can hear my thoughts and yours when I stand still and hear, really hear life around me.

Now I have tears in my eyes. I sit very still as I continue to read:

People-- All are welcomed here but for some have been upon this place for generations and their character is a cultural study of kindness to each other, survival and living, tolerance of the elements and its challenges. Those old generations have shaped the look and sense of its history. There are abundant stories of loss and gain, settling and leaving, building up and tearing down and migrations.

Well. Maybe not all are welcomed -- I've gotten the same joking-yet-serious bad attitudes about coming from New York/Connecticut from both jobs now. But I understand it better now. I'm connecting the stories I've heard from locals at the office and the bar. Sometimes they are simply threatened by change.

Challenge -- We are constantly challenged by this place to explore ourselves. There is something deeply and profoundly soulful about the Land that forces us to look into ourselves and out upon the World. So explore and enjoy and when you leave here to Settle elsewhere - take a piece of this with you and find The best of it and least of it and know that it is there For the taking and the making of memories.

Challenge. Yes. So much about my character and outlook and really everything I thought I knew has been challenged by coming out here and trying to make my way, to find my place. Taking this leap to a completely different job is part of that challenge of finding myself. Knowing I can take the best of what I've learned brings me some comfort.

Success always to you...